Your Fleeting Fortitude

this time, I mean it.

I sit here and quietly wonder if our friendship meant nothing.
I miss you.
Are we both so afraid to reach out that silence is our only option?
You probably hardly notice I’m gone.
I watch you from afar and I regret letting things slip so far beyond my grasps.
Yes this is about you.

YES, YOU.
I feel you’re changing…and I don’t know if I fit into your life anymore.
:( 

C’est la vie.

At this point, I’m not even trying to lose weight. My body is in some kind of depression. The thought of food makes me want to vomit. This has been going on for 6 days now.
My face is gaunt. 

I’m down to 125.4 lbs…

Sunday morning, I weighed 130 lbs.
Yesterday morning, I weighed 125.6.

Lost .2 lbs, most recently.
Weight loss slowed due to junk food before bed last night, but other than that, ate super super healthy.

You can see my toned tummy coming out.

I will have my ideal body before December, damnit. 

A few nights ago I awoke from sleep only to recall the most peculiar and wild dreams. 

A new spin on Alice in Wonderland.

I explained them to Scott, who helped make sense of them.

And now we’re writing a book.

how long it will take for you to become sick of me.
As I see it happening already, I would say soon. Very soon.

But maybe I’m being daft. 

So instead it’s going to be a happy place. Feel free to follow me. I will no longer rant about others here. It’s hurtful, even if I think they’ll never find it. I know I wouldn’t like to find a tumblog with posts about me all over it.
Kill it with kindness.

I love the sunshine.